Moving into Senior Living- What they Wish you Knew

Moving into a Senior Living Community- What they wish you knew

I had the absolute pleasure of corresponding with Ashley, the Community Relations Director at a local Senior Living Residential and Assisted Living Center. Seeing her face light up when approached to talk about the questions in mind, made me certain I had gone to the right person for help writing this blog. Her answers were so incredible that I have decided to just give you the pleasure of reading them. 

I wondered… What do Senior Living Communities wish you knew before you move in? 

1. What is the one thing you wish people knew before moving in?

Needing help is absolutely okay and no one is going to judge you for it. Asking for it is not a weakness, but it is an adjustment. It’s kind of like driving a car with square wheels. It feels bumpy when you get going, but eventually the wheels get enough friction to move into a smoother ride, and that takes time and willingness to be on the journey.

2. What is the biggest challenge you see as people make the adjustment to smaller living? 

Often people have come from a big house where they were isolated to a smaller space where they suddenly have a village looking out for them. It’s a juxtaposition. All at once, someone finds themselves in the opposite camp of being surrounded by support, whether that’s with other residents and the shared experience of needing help they weren’t anticipating or our team checking in to make sure all is well. Folks think they are moving to a smaller place where they are going to feel even more alone, when they are bravely opening themselves up to a situation that will actually make life feel bigger in a really connective way. So the mental and emotional shift that needs to happen is often the bigger challenge, in comparison to the physical one.

3. What support do people have when they move in? Is it up to the families? Do you use a moving company or an onsite person to help set up the apartment? 

The support here is as hands on or hands off as a family wants us to be within certain limitations. Measuring apartments, pictures for visuals, mover recommendations, and furniture delivery coordination are often part of the transition here. Families know their loved one best, so they are usually tasked with creating the space while we remain a quiet support to whatever they need us to do to make it successful. We have a maintenance person on site to help with installation of items such as grab bars, wall mounts, hanging pictures, etc. But each community is different. I recommend that anyone moving forward to an Assisted Living meet with the Community Relations Director, Executive Director, and/or Maintenance Director to ensure support can be on deck where it’s wanted and necessary. 

4.  Do you see people moving in with too much stuff, or have they mostly downsized before they got there? Have you heard of seniors storing belongings in storage units? 

Usually this is a conversation ahead of time. It’s important to understand the point A to point B. Is this person moving from a rehab after a really big physical challenge? Are they moving from another senior community? Or are they moving from their home of fifty plus years? Many times, our residents are making the leap of moving from a life home to Assisted, and there are years of memories and things collected over that span of time. People moving to us really struggle with “what’s going to happen to my home and everything in it.” For some, it’s a practical decision to downsize and for others, it’s daunting. Families should be discussing with their loved ones what is important to them. Is it the collection of teacups that were handed down, the painting they bought while on a trip when they were 42 years old, a new bed with a good heavy quilt because they get cold easily? The success is in the details. Each apartment is a blank slate for someone to create a space that reflects and honors their life and needs. And while some will choose to purchase new items, it’s important for this space to reflect their human experience. If you can’t bring your whole house with you, and most people cannot, how do you preserve everything that’s built it, even in a setting that’s new or smaller in size? You pick the pieces that do two things: they fit/function and they spark joy/memory. Additionally, families should listen to their loved one about the items that don’t work in those two ways and come up with a plan on how to handle those items gently and respectfully, whether those items are passed along to people they love and trust or whether they are stored somewhere to be kept for a time when those things might make their way back to them. But most of the downsizing has to be done through a discussion and that is generally a step done prior to occupying an apartment in an Assisted Living. If afterward it is realized that too many items have been brought with, it should be up to the resident to determine what stays and what goes- and if it goes, where that will be.

5. On average, how long do people reside in your apartments?

This is highly dependent on their circumstances, which vary person to person. Some people come and stay for a handful of months, and some are here for many, many years. But on average I would say folks are in our Assisted Living side between 2-4 years.

6. Do you offer a move-in checklist? One that identifies needs and items not needed?

We do have a move-in checklist! It’s one that I include in our brochure and, although its specific to our community here at Fox Hollow, I created it to be fluid and used wherever they land as the right fit.

7.  Does someone come in to inspect for safety concerns after they are settled?

We do all our inspections prior to move in. As we adjust to our residents’ routines and lifestyles, our care and management team are looking at how someone functions in their new space, and if there are any hazards that present the possibility of being unsafe, we open discussion with the resident and collaborate on how to make it functional for them.

8. What is your favorite art of the job? (I LOVE her response!) 

Generally, families/future residents come into this process (naturally) overwhelmed. They are tackling this whole thing head on in every way possible; it’s challenging physically, emotionally, and mentally. It certainly feels like a new learning curve, and it comes at people very suddenly. When I meet with families for the first time, I can bring calm and clarity to this situation because I’ve been through this process over and over. I can foresee the hurdles and challenges so we can anticipate the tough parts, and I also foresee the outcomes once things settle. Essentially, families want a crystal ball to know everything is going to be well, and I am mostly able to be that for them. At the very least, I am able to provide them with guidance in eating the proverbial whale. I remind everyone I work with that this is a “one step at a time” exercise and I outline what those steps are. Families are looking at the sprint while I’m looking at the marathon. When residents acclimate after moving in, and I get to see families sharing in the comfort of safety and community, I know I showed up for them during a hard chapter and saw them through to the other side.

9.  Any highlights of your facility that you would like to share? 

Fox Hollow is an incredibly unique place. We’re cozy and very family oriented. Being in the South Hills, we have a natural aspect that all the other pocket communities do not. We’re surrounded by mountain side and forest views, and we have various wildlife to include generational deer that frequent our grounds and make a life here. It’s not unusual to see a doe and her babies one year and then have those same babies come back the next with young of their own. We’re a serene space and if someone wants to enjoy peace and quiet with beautiful surroundings, we’re that community. We are also deeply committed not only to our residents, but the families who love them. All of us form this village of support and comradery on a personal level that I can genuinely say you won’t find in other communities around Eugene. I’m extremely proud of that.

I am ever so grateful to Ashely for her time and I hope that this has helped you understand a bit more of the process of moving into senior housing. Cheers